[Steve Hanft speaking:]
(I'm totally f'ed up. I can barely speak. I'm totally f'ed up. They gave me so many drugs. But, uh...I'm gonna be here...)
[FM&OS version starts here]
[Steve Hanft speaking:]
(Alright, what we're talking about here is...is kind of a...it's a heartland feeling...like, uh, Mellencamp, you know, kind of a Mellen feeling. Ok, what you gotta get together is a... some...a heartland folk singer. Uh, we're gonna need a real quick... Uh, John Cougar Mellencamp, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Seeger...that type of feel. A Mellen feeling. You know, real, uh, powerful, approving music, uh...of a heartland quality, uh, just powerful straightforward music. And if you can't get just the right type of feeling, find someone who will pass and change them.)
Old man Johnson got his head in his hand
Making his way across state
In a fiddling band
With hair all down in his eyes
And the microphone all covered with flies
When he gets done playing,
Goes back to his room
Climbs in the bed in his cowboy boots
And he picks up a magazine, Turns on the TV
Lights a cigar as he's falling asleep
Well he's only a person
Who doesn't know s--t
Yea, nothing happening
That's about it
Yeeaaaah
Well little RoseAnna came from Tex-arkana
Had fourteen dollars wrapped in a bandana
Came into town not looking for much
Well she found a hound dog
And she named him Dutch
She got a job at the arcade taking quarters
But she was never too good at taking orders
So one night she stopped giving out change
She kicked the boss in the shin
And unplugged the games
She's only a person
Who doesn't know s--t
Nothing happening
That's about it
Ooow ooow, yea yea yea
Sam got canned at the cannery
He punched out the clock that night
His knuckle was bleeding as he walked home
He was cold and he had a headache
Well his wife was cooking canned beans
He took out all the money out of his jeans
And he set it on fire in the kitchen sink
As his wife handed him a drink
He was only a person
Who didn't know s--t
Nothing happening
That's about it
Oh yeah
Wooow ooow ooow
Smiley was looking for handouts
Sleeping in an abandoned lighthouse
Down at the mini-mall shaking his hat
Washing windows with his bare hand
He found a sports car with the keys
In the ignition it just seemed so easy
He took a joyride, drove it into a hedge
Came out with the steering wheel wrapped around his head
Well he's only a person
Who doesn't know s--t
Nothing happening
That's about it
Ooow ooow yea
Well Janie was born in a small town
Everybody just standing around
They had bingo games and the raffle
Everybody chewing tobacco
Well she grew up kind of restless
All her boyfriends wanted to be dentists
Well, she got a job at the truck stop
And she got old fast and never did what she wanted
She's only a person
Who doesn't know s--t
Nothing happening
That's about it
Yea yea yea....oh yea [etc.]