Difford/Tilbrook)
WARNING: These lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. They represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see.
She used to do a topless down at the Surrey Docks
With tassels on her whatsits she did a t'riffic job
Of raising all the eyebrows of every lunchtime mob
She went with all the tossers who kick about a ball
They say their club's the greatest, and she has kissed them all
At the Arndale Center, she's up against the wall
I can't name names cause that's not cricket
I can't name names that would put me in it
But that's another story in the finish
I saw them at the pictures a tangled heap of love
He had so many women, but only classy stuff
I saw him at the clinic, a pink card up his cuff
One holiday in Bognor a stag night hit the town
The groom is in the car park with his trousers down
But that's another story that won't be going round
I can't name names cause that's not cricket
I can't name names that would put me in it
But that's another story in the finish
The Deptford had a beano to Southend for the night