U like the food here?
(Yeah)
Good, huh?
(It's alright)
Try the canolli, it's fabulous
(I'm kinda full, alright)
Mmm
U gonna eat that meatball there?
U, U just gonna let it...
Maybe girl made some food out here
Here, give it 2 me
U're not gonna eat it
(At least not now)
Mmm, let's see what I can get up here 2 grease on
Mmm, yeah
Best meatball in the city
What are U doin' there?
Hmm, this might work
(Give it 2 me, I'll eat it)
Lemme see, mmm
So tell me, U like broads?
(They're alright, I...)
Yep
Boy, have I got a broad story 4 U
Yeah, some corn, yeah
(Jesus)
Let's see, uh
I'm on a date with this broad, right?
Lets' see, stove top directions, uh
I bring her here
(Here?)
Yeah, right here
I thought I'd put some food in her belly
Empty contents into small sauce pan, hmm
U know, get a little curve in her slope
U know what I'm sayin?
(Slope?)
Right...
Now let me go see if I can find one of these muthafuckers, hmm
(Oh, gosh)
So I'm like ";Go ahead toots, order what U like, it's on me";
Make her think I'm a big shot, U know
I said ";So order, order somethin' 4 me 2
I'm gonna run 2 the little boys room
Hmm, shit, that definitely ain't no sauce pan
I gotta burp the baby
Mmm, that ain't no sauce pan
U know what I'm sayin'?";
I figured she'd order me somethin' light
Let me see if I can find this shit
Like a couple of salads or somethin'
Boy, was that a mistake
(Why?)
I comes back from the bathroom
Alright, got it, got it
I'm sittin' there
Ah, that's cool
Waitin' 4 the food
Now, if I can just get this corn open
This broad ordered the whole left side of the menu!
OK, let's see
Said she just wanted 2 nibble
Where's the damn can opener? Shit!
Nibble my ass
I'll open this muthafucker
I'm hungry!
This broad ate every fuckin' thing except the silverware
Shit ain't openin'
(Come on)
I kid U not
{phone rings}
Shit's gonna open now
I mean, she was a little on the thick side 2 begin with
Alright, I got it, mmm hmm
U know what I mean?
But I figured she'd have the decency 2 pig out when she got home
Talk
(Hey brother, what's up?)
Not here, right?
(Right)
I mean U, U ever had a broad do that?
Ain't nothin' but a wang
(No, not really)
Fuckin' pisses U off, am I right?
My girl's gone somewhere
Right, so I reaches over
I... I'm just cookin'
I took the fuckin' mashed potatoes and I threw 'em all over that broad
Hey, hey, what's this?
(Now wait a minute)
That ain't all though, check this out
Hmm, let me call U back
(What?)
The waiter sees what just happened
What the...
He's gonna be Mr. Macho, right
He comes over and says
";What U do that 4?";
";I'm sick of the changes U put me through?";
(And U said?)
I said ";What the fuck business is it of yours?
I'm payin' 4 these fuckin' potatoes
";All U think about is music?";
I'll do what the fuck I wanna do with'em!