Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction,
Forgive our sins (and those who've sinned against us.)
Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues,
Selling faux sermons.
Because I am a new wave gospel sharp,
And you'll be thy witness.
So gentlemen, if you are going to preach.
Then for God sakes preach with conviction.
Strike up the band!
Oh the conductor is beckoning,
Come congregation,
And let's sing it like you mean it.
No, don't you get it don't you get it?
Well don't you move.
Just stay where I can see you.
Douse the lights!
We sure are in for a show tonight.
In this little number we are graced,
By two displays of character.
We've got: the gunslinger extraordinaire,
VS. the walking contradictions.
Because I for one can see no blood from their hearts,
Or the wrists they allegedly slit.
And I for one wont stand for this,
If this scene were a parish you'd all be condemned.